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Health & Fitness

Breaking News: Business owner Reveals Presence of Secret Brain Trust!

Deputy Police Chief Peter Reichard had no comment about the legality and ramifications of unidentified, unregistered and possibly unlawful members of a brain trust running rampant through our city.

In a comment attached to my previous blog local business owner, Alan Green, Jr, unknowingly, or maybe not, revealed the presence of a secret brain trust operating here in New London with the goal of helping the city succeed in something about which he was not specific.

The only clues discovered thus far regarding the membership of this brain trust are those provided in Green’s comments below which include that a number of them came from out of town and read about us in newspapers.

The full comment is as follows

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“Hi Kathleen Mitchell,

Alan Green, Jr. commented on your blog post, I Love a Parade!:

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"Where was I Kathleen? Reading about the foibles of New London from a couple other towns in NEW LONDON county. I've been following right along. Many of us - including our elected Mayor - have studied how groups might make cities smarter. It's too bad the people who have put up with the frustrations that have defined New London politics aren't able to appreciate the brain trust that has adopted New London (yes, I do have an ego) with the goal of helping it succeed. Are you saying an adopted child is less of ones child than a naturally born one? I'd suggest that if people are feeling like they're being treated as if they've fallen off the turnip truck then it's their own insecurities. I'll admit to a desire to find intelligent conversation, but intelligence for me is far less an important bellwether of ones character than how they treat others - are they welcoming or disdainful to newcomers? I for one moved here for the colorful people of New London - its home grown and its transplants. I do recognize, Kathleen, the difference between the written-TV personas and the personal, civil encounters we all have with each other - some of us no doubt not even realizing we've had a nice moment together - and bottom line is we all care bout New London. I guess that's what befuddles me (among many things); seems to be a lot more acrimony in typed words than spoken ones round here."

This startling revelation has caused shockwaves throughout the city not to mention some barely printable comments from citizens and elected officials alike.

Remarks from some residents included "Where do they keep it?" (referring to the brain trust) and "I don't get it. What the hell is he talking about."

An elected official, who also wishes to remain anonymous, paraphrased William F Buckley’s statement “I won’t insult his intelligence (such as it is) by suggesting that he really believes what he just said.”

Deputy Police Chief Peter Reichard had no comment about the legality and ramifications of unidentified, unregistered and possibly unlawful members of a brain trust running rampant through our city.

When questioned as to the details of this alleged brain trust, including membership, Mr. Green did not immediately reply.

There is a feeling across the city that if there are any brains here that we don’t know about, we certainly will do everything possible to discover where they are.

This could present a whole new set of new problems for a city already beset with problems too numerous to mention here but including no money, no one who is willing give us any, misplaced geese crossings and sometimes none at all, missing whoopee cushions from council chambers, poor Wi-Fi reception in the north end of town, poor cell phone reception in the south end of the city, increasing salinity in our freshwater ecosystems, city employees wearing aluminum foil deflector beanies, out of date maps and littering by poor people (this according to Mr. Green)

There is an ongoing investigation into Green’s claim and any new information will be reported as soon as possible.

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