My Husband’s Other Wife
My husband Tim has a “companion” he takes with him sometimes
when he’s traveling far out of town. He has even had the audacity to bring her
along on trips when I’m in the car—and then she sits right between us while the
two of them have heated debates. Her initials are G.P.S.
At least he treats her like they're married; Ms. G.P.S. is selflessly there to lead him down the right path—just one of the many wonderful services wives provide out of the goodness of their hearts—however all Tim can do is argue with her and sputter about her being bossy. She clearly points things out what he should do, and when he doesn’t and ends up in a mess, he then complains that she led him astray. Typical husband...
When she points out something he did wrong—only because she’s trying to help--he back talks her using very colorful language, while she remains calm and reassuring, trying to steer him back on track; just like any good wife does. He claims she never told him what she wanted him to do, but in fact she did—he just never listens. Tim even blames her for detours and jams beyond her control.
Their biggest arguments ensue when she politely points out that Tim’s going too fast. First he’ll ignore her, and then he’ll do a lot of hard breathing and exasperated sighing. When she sweetly reminds him again that he’s going 25 miles over the speed limit--solely because she’s looking out for him--he’ll act like she’s evil incarnate and switch off the sound. That’s why I think he prefers this new wife of his to me—I don’t have a switch he can turn the sound off with. ;)